谢谢你让我学会了不是每一个人说的话都能信。尤其是像你这种，更不能信。
一潮被蛇咬，十年怕紧绳。我学会了。我懂了。这种性格的人，不能接近，不能信，更不能喜欢。因为最后受伤的人是自己。不会抗拒与这种人来往，但与他绝对不可能成为好友。因为我的好友会说实话。
若有一天你看见了，恭喜你。我说的人，便是你。
Monday, November 18, 2013
Sunday, November 17, 2013
想找出让我悲观的原因，然后勇敢去面对。可是，如果连原因都造不出。怎么办。
悲观，是一种思想。其实乐观。要乐观很容易，改变思想就会改变这个毛病。ok 我要乐观。往好的方面想。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。
我会快乐起来。
悲观，是一种思想。其实乐观。要乐观很容易，改变思想就会改变这个毛病。ok 我要乐观。往好的方面想。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。乐观。
我会快乐起来。
Saturday, November 9, 2013
Haha I went around visiting other people's blog and suddenly remembered the blog we created during our Secondary 1 year. thankfully it was still around :) Of course there were also links to other people's blogs and I started clicking on them, visiting it. many of the blogs could no longer be found (because it was deleted). For those that still exists, their last blog post was around year 2010/2011. Only 1 (if I remembered correctly), had the latest post in 2013.
Time flies. Really. Graduated a year ago and now I'm in my new school. It's crazy. I wouldn't say I miss those times very much. But I wouldn't mind re-living those moments again. If only our dreams could bring us there. If only.
Leave
Frankly speaking, I thought we would and could get along well. Especially after the first time we talked. easy-going, candid, friendly, and someone who doesn't judge. At least that was what I thought.
It all changed, slowly though. It gradually seemed as if... we had different views about many things. And it seemed like we didn't have a common topic after all. But that was ok, tolerable for me at least.
I thought it would all be ok. But it seems as if you've made more friends, more like-minded friends. Or rather, friends who would agree with whatever you said, friends who wouldn't tell you the truth. I'm sorry, but that's not going to change me. I'm not going to lie to you just that, so that, we would and could talk more. Fine, if you've decided to mix with them. Fine. I'm tired of trying to fake a smile and laugh it away when you talk about it negatively. Once is fine, twice I'll bear with it, thrice I'll try to keep it in. But if you're going to go on and on about it. I'm sorry. It's the end. I'll leave you behind. It's ok. It's ok to lose a friend like you. A friend who doesn't cherish me. A friend who doesn't value me as much as I value you.
I will not tolerate people who would lower my self-esteem and make me feel less worthy.
It all changed, slowly though. It gradually seemed as if... we had different views about many things. And it seemed like we didn't have a common topic after all. But that was ok, tolerable for me at least.
I thought it would all be ok. But it seems as if you've made more friends, more like-minded friends. Or rather, friends who would agree with whatever you said, friends who wouldn't tell you the truth. I'm sorry, but that's not going to change me. I'm not going to lie to you just that, so that, we would and could talk more. Fine, if you've decided to mix with them. Fine. I'm tired of trying to fake a smile and laugh it away when you talk about it negatively. Once is fine, twice I'll bear with it, thrice I'll try to keep it in. But if you're going to go on and on about it. I'm sorry. It's the end. I'll leave you behind. It's ok. It's ok to lose a friend like you. A friend who doesn't cherish me. A friend who doesn't value me as much as I value you.
I will not tolerate people who would lower my self-esteem and make me feel less worthy.
Friday, November 8, 2013
There's been many times when I wanted so much to on my computer and start blogging but... either the page took too long to load that I lost all my inspiration or i was just too lazy.
So anyways, have you ever tried to hard to fit into this particular group but realized that no matter how hard you tried, you can't? I'm currently in this CCA with super nice people and it's a nice environment. In the beginning, ALMOST everyone were strangers. So yup, there were awkward moments(not in the bad way), but we could all mix well together. There were no clics whatsoever. Everyone could talk to one another. But now, as time has passed, there's this 'clic' forming. It's not very distinct as to who is in, but it's vaguely there. And it's making me uncomfortable. slightly. I know it's natural for that to occur but... i don't exactly like it. So there's this 'leader' inside, and I've a feeling she doesn't reallyyy like me. Yes i can be over sensitive but it seems like it. What's worse is I don't have a very good feeling towards her too. Not to the extent that I hate her but ... just not THAT much to my liking. I've thought much about the reason why I dislike her (I mean i can't possibly dislike someone 'just because' right?) and surprisingly i can't. sigh. dunno la.. zzzz
should i try my best to find a positive side of her and stop the dislike to wards her or just hold it for another 6 months :/
So anyways, have you ever tried to hard to fit into this particular group but realized that no matter how hard you tried, you can't? I'm currently in this CCA with super nice people and it's a nice environment. In the beginning, ALMOST everyone were strangers. So yup, there were awkward moments(not in the bad way), but we could all mix well together. There were no clics whatsoever. Everyone could talk to one another. But now, as time has passed, there's this 'clic' forming. It's not very distinct as to who is in, but it's vaguely there. And it's making me uncomfortable. slightly. I know it's natural for that to occur but... i don't exactly like it. So there's this 'leader' inside, and I've a feeling she doesn't reallyyy like me. Yes i can be over sensitive but it seems like it. What's worse is I don't have a very good feeling towards her too. Not to the extent that I hate her but ... just not THAT much to my liking. I've thought much about the reason why I dislike her (I mean i can't possibly dislike someone 'just because' right?) and surprisingly i can't. sigh. dunno la.. zzzz
should i try my best to find a positive side of her and stop the dislike to wards her or just hold it for another 6 months :/
Monday, November 4, 2013
I had a sore throat 2 days ago and treated it immediately by spamming lozenges and yes it cured the next day! however, it still felt as if something was stuck in my mouth, which was hard to swallow, it felt a little bit like the time I lost my voice. So anyways, my mum got me more stuff for my throat and Im really touched :) feels loves :) there was a slight fever I guess, but all I needed was a sleep to bring it away. (oh and of course I ate medicine at night to prevent the fever at night) woke up the next day (which is today) coughing. I guess I kinda predicted it to happen. haha my sore throat always goes in this cycle: sore throat -> cough (they missed this one this time) -> running nose ->fever -> cough -> sore throat -> CURED! haha and yes it is ALWAYS this way. yup it might seem that after the cough all it needed was to move on to the sore throat section and it would be cured. but seems like its not that easy this time. For my latest sore throat experience (aside from this one) I lost my voice. For a long long time. it took a long long long time to recover. and yeah it was QUITE a horrible experience, I ate the antibiotics for quite some time before it recovered. This got me quite worried because i'll be having my oral presentation this Friday. yeah I still have 4 days more but I know my condition very well. I know the estimated time required. either i'll recover just in time or i'll present with this hoarse voice. and yes there goes my marks for OP. sigh. was quite confident about this segment. screw it. what made this worse was that I found this white spot at the back, on the wall, of my throat. O.o what in the world is it doing there... hmm... tried to take a photo of it but failed.
sigh please let me recover real quick! i'll be really greatful!
sigh please let me recover real quick! i'll be really greatful!
Friday, November 1, 2013
UPNEXT!
ok i didnt DIRECTLY hear from someone telling me that "hey your skills are of a 3 year old kid" but i do sense it. really. they give you the feeling "how did this girl get into this place? she sucks." so im here to PROVE YOU WRONG.
but i gotta be realistic, it's gonna take me sometime to complete this project cause i've got other work at hand so.... its not surprising to see me complete this project only by next year. haha here's a preview of how far i've went (it sucks but bear with it ok)
halloween!
YESTERDAY WAS HALLOWEEN AND I HAD LOTS OF FUN!
anyways, lol it was my first time celebrating halloween and i guess it was the same for the friends that i went with. We travelled all the way to woodlands, paid a taxi fare cause we were late. but it was all worth it. it was indeed an eye-opener :) we received treats of course but we decided to give them out to people (we got a huge bag from a kind soul). and of course the best part was that people were actually taking pictures of us! :o that really shows how successful out make-up were! (by the way none of us are professional make-up artist, in fact may of us were putting on make-up for the first time)(ok wait that kind of explains why we were so scary-looking) also we did not rent any costumes (we went to a shop but rental fee was $90 cheapest :O ) we DIY-ed it. some of us bought a plain shirt at $7 from bosinni, some used old clothes and we drew on it :) fun :) it was a great night although i felt really tired when i got home. haha really its hard to describe the experience (im not really good with expressing myself in words. typed)
anyways, lol it was my first time celebrating halloween and i guess it was the same for the friends that i went with. We travelled all the way to woodlands, paid a taxi fare cause we were late. but it was all worth it. it was indeed an eye-opener :) we received treats of course but we decided to give them out to people (we got a huge bag from a kind soul). and of course the best part was that people were actually taking pictures of us! :o that really shows how successful out make-up were! (by the way none of us are professional make-up artist, in fact may of us were putting on make-up for the first time)(ok wait that kind of explains why we were so scary-looking) also we did not rent any costumes (we went to a shop but rental fee was $90 cheapest :O ) we DIY-ed it. some of us bought a plain shirt at $7 from bosinni, some used old clothes and we drew on it :) fun :) it was a great night although i felt really tired when i got home. haha really its hard to describe the experience (im not really good with expressing myself in words. typed)
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
i tried.
have you ever felt as if you're good enough such thou no longer need to practice as hard for it. And then, when you meet back again with your section, you realise you lousy/badly you play? that happens A LOT to me, and it really sucks.
I practiced hard for the 2 other songs, and i sincerely felt that i was good enough and was definitely confident about playing it. but who knew, the others turned out to play MUCH MUCH better than me. such that when we had to play individually (yes we did that) i sounded so terrible that it drew awkward faced from my section mates. sucks. I really thought i was well prepared. seemed like i over-estimated myself, quite a bit. I mean yes, the had background previously, but that definitely isn't an excuse to not play well. WHAT TO DO
I practiced hard for the 2 other songs, and i sincerely felt that i was good enough and was definitely confident about playing it. but who knew, the others turned out to play MUCH MUCH better than me. such that when we had to play individually (yes we did that) i sounded so terrible that it drew awkward faced from my section mates. sucks. I really thought i was well prepared. seemed like i over-estimated myself, quite a bit. I mean yes, the had background previously, but that definitely isn't an excuse to not play well. WHAT TO DO
Superficial friends
so i've got this friend (whom i met in secondary 3, started officially WA each other in sec 4 i think and then we stopped contacting each other for a while) who suddenly started chatting with me again. So i though, well that's pretty nice of him. (i mean its always good to maintain/build friendships right?) so i happily replied thinking that he contacted me purely just to catch up on what we're doing and stuff...
THEN the moment when he sent his message about borrowing my chinese materials (for his upcoming exams) i was like AH HA THERE YOU GO. don't get me wrong. I wasn't unwilling to lend it to him, in fact i felt to great to be of a help to someone who needs it. But asking about borrowing my stuff ON THE DAY you decided to began contacting me again. is a little.... hmm... i have no idea how to put it but it just made me felt like: So you contacted me just for your selfish needs. ok can. i shall be a kind soul.
NORMAL CHAT CAME BACK ONLY UNTIL ONE FINE DAY WHEN HIS EXAMS ENDED.
fortunately, he thanked me for lending him my notes. he asked if his sis could borrow it for her exams, and 'ok' i replied. but you do know that my sis is taking the same chinese exams right? (i told you she is sec 3 too -.-) yes, my sis you not have referred to it. BUT you should have asked if she needed it (it's called being polite *uhum*)
ON THE DAY BEFORE HIS OP EXAM (for project work)
"hey share your idea!" (i told him that my idea clashed with another group mate's idea some dayS ago)
Really thank you so much for contacting me. seriously. just for your own benefits. at least that's what i feel and that's the message i get. seriously, i don't need superficial friends like you that forge friendships for your own benefits. i'll still reply you because it's a form of respect. but please, get lost (ok actually i think you'll leave on your own when you no longer need me, and come back again when you realised you need my help again. tsk)
you'll never make true friends with that mindset of yours. at least that's what i have learnt.
THEN the moment when he sent his message about borrowing my chinese materials (for his upcoming exams) i was like AH HA THERE YOU GO. don't get me wrong. I wasn't unwilling to lend it to him, in fact i felt to great to be of a help to someone who needs it. But asking about borrowing my stuff ON THE DAY you decided to began contacting me again. is a little.... hmm... i have no idea how to put it but it just made me felt like: So you contacted me just for your selfish needs. ok can. i shall be a kind soul.
NORMAL CHAT CAME BACK ONLY UNTIL ONE FINE DAY WHEN HIS EXAMS ENDED.
fortunately, he thanked me for lending him my notes. he asked if his sis could borrow it for her exams, and 'ok' i replied. but you do know that my sis is taking the same chinese exams right? (i told you she is sec 3 too -.-) yes, my sis you not have referred to it. BUT you should have asked if she needed it (it's called being polite *uhum*)
ON THE DAY BEFORE HIS OP EXAM (for project work)
"hey share your idea!" (i told him that my idea clashed with another group mate's idea some dayS ago)
Really thank you so much for contacting me. seriously. just for your own benefits. at least that's what i feel and that's the message i get. seriously, i don't need superficial friends like you that forge friendships for your own benefits. i'll still reply you because it's a form of respect. but please, get lost (ok actually i think you'll leave on your own when you no longer need me, and come back again when you realised you need my help again. tsk)
you'll never make true friends with that mindset of yours. at least that's what i have learnt.
we'll see how it goes
OK i guess it was pretty much neccessary for me to talk about this.
I applied for OGL some weeks ago and had my interview. I got an OG mate as one of the interviwer and I also happen to know 2 other people in the planning committee. so it might seem like i stand a huge chance of being an OGL but actually it depends very much on your actual day interview and your HIGH-NESS (yes they need high people which i'm probably not)
Initially i really thought i was in OGL cause this planning comm person whom i knew came to me happily to tell me he knew who was in (and of course i thought i was in since you probably wouldn't happily go in front of a person you rejected to tell them you are out right?)(ok or maybe i was just thinking too much) also, my interviewer also smiled at me the other day we saw each other (so things were getting a little friendly i thought) and also the 2nd planning comm person i knew started talking to me (so it really makes a lot of sense that i guessed i got in) however, now that i think back, they were nice to me (probably also) because they were sorry about rejecting me and was hoping that i would ask them how the results went so i wouldn't be hoping for anything. the results should be released soon but i'm still waiting till today... and slowly i do not see much hope in me getting in. my interviewer seem to be a little cold recently. (i just walked pass him today and ... yeah.. no smiles/hi/whatsoever) I mean it's not that i want it VERY badly. and its really ok if i dont get it. but.. ok i shall speak the truth. it's just about the face. I mean you go around telling people (ok cause they asked) that you applied for OGL and duhh its better that you end up telling them you got in. also, from my less closer friends, who feels that i am a little quiet (which is true) would give me the SERIOUSLY SHE APPLIED FOR IT face, i get a little upset and really want to prove them wrong that i did it. want so badly to tell them in the face , yeah i got it. BOOHOO for looking down on me. but its really not as easy to get it. they are chopping off about half of the people who applied for it. and frankly speaking, i didn't stand out during the interview.
oh wells, let's just hope for the best.would respect any decision given to me. and i trust that the decision given would be the best for me.
If i get in, its a chance for me to open up more and to learn to speak smartly
If i do not get in, then its probably cause i should focus on my studies instead of playing.
all the best :)
I applied for OGL some weeks ago and had my interview. I got an OG mate as one of the interviwer and I also happen to know 2 other people in the planning committee. so it might seem like i stand a huge chance of being an OGL but actually it depends very much on your actual day interview and your HIGH-NESS (yes they need high people which i'm probably not)
Initially i really thought i was in OGL cause this planning comm person whom i knew came to me happily to tell me he knew who was in (and of course i thought i was in since you probably wouldn't happily go in front of a person you rejected to tell them you are out right?)(ok or maybe i was just thinking too much) also, my interviewer also smiled at me the other day we saw each other (so things were getting a little friendly i thought) and also the 2nd planning comm person i knew started talking to me (so it really makes a lot of sense that i guessed i got in) however, now that i think back, they were nice to me (probably also) because they were sorry about rejecting me and was hoping that i would ask them how the results went so i wouldn't be hoping for anything. the results should be released soon but i'm still waiting till today... and slowly i do not see much hope in me getting in. my interviewer seem to be a little cold recently. (i just walked pass him today and ... yeah.. no smiles/hi/whatsoever) I mean it's not that i want it VERY badly. and its really ok if i dont get it. but.. ok i shall speak the truth. it's just about the face. I mean you go around telling people (ok cause they asked) that you applied for OGL and duhh its better that you end up telling them you got in. also, from my less closer friends, who feels that i am a little quiet (which is true) would give me the SERIOUSLY SHE APPLIED FOR IT face, i get a little upset and really want to prove them wrong that i did it. want so badly to tell them in the face , yeah i got it. BOOHOO for looking down on me. but its really not as easy to get it. they are chopping off about half of the people who applied for it. and frankly speaking, i didn't stand out during the interview.
oh wells, let's just hope for the best.would respect any decision given to me. and i trust that the decision given would be the best for me.
If i get in, its a chance for me to open up more and to learn to speak smartly
If i do not get in, then its probably cause i should focus on my studies instead of playing.
all the best :)
why..why do you always leave me feeling like this after meeting you... 明明就知道你与我的“男朋友的标准”很不一样，明明就知道我们不可能， 明明就知道我们不配。但，为什么就会有这样的感受。Yes, you're nice, you're a gentleman, you have a kind heart, the qualities that I'm looking for. but we don't have a common topic, and we are different in terms of the way we think (which is VERY important in a couple) but why.... why then do I feel like this? I mean i don't feel very excited or nervous to meet you 也没有那所谓的“怦然” but I didn't want that meeting to end, I didn't wanted anyone to interrupt our discussion. I felt really lost as to what i feeling on the way home. and i didn't know what to do. 没谈过恋爱的人，果然容易迷失。
How do couples end up being together? how did they decide that he/she is the right one for you? do people end up being together because they really like each other or just because it was for the sake of getting together? 真心希望能遇到对的人。一个不会伤害我的人。
How do couples end up being together? how did they decide that he/she is the right one for you? do people end up being together because they really like each other or just because it was for the sake of getting together? 真心希望能遇到对的人。一个不会伤害我的人。
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
If you happen to chance upon this blog
so I've got another friend that created a blog and of course she shared her website too. yup its cool/fun to read your friend's blog cause somehow you get to see the other side of them.
i've once considered sharing this blog. but maybe not. sharing this blog with your friends means that you've got to be very careful with what you say. cause there will be people reading. people that know you. when i start being extra cautious with what i say, this defeats the purpose of having this blog -- for me to rant. haha yeah i think i sound like some depressed/pessimistic kid now. but i sincerely have no intention in sharing this blog with anyone. so if you happen to chance upon this blog, you're in luck ;). only true 100% feeling here :)
another reason why i wouldn't want to share this blog is because i'm too lazy to start editing what i type (i guess you probably realise it by now) my letter "I"s are "i" but not the correct "I". and sometimes i miss out the " ' " in words such as " didnt " " wasnt " and of course my grammer and sentence structures are in a mess. c'mon life's too short to bother too much about all of these. and when i start being conscious about it, real feeling are not revealed.
of course I do hope that people read and come back to this blog again. not for viewer ratings of course (yes I do check but it doesn't affect me much). coming back makes this blog seem for worthy and of course, gives me better confidence ^^
i've once considered sharing this blog. but maybe not. sharing this blog with your friends means that you've got to be very careful with what you say. cause there will be people reading. people that know you. when i start being extra cautious with what i say, this defeats the purpose of having this blog -- for me to rant. haha yeah i think i sound like some depressed/pessimistic kid now. but i sincerely have no intention in sharing this blog with anyone. so if you happen to chance upon this blog, you're in luck ;). only true 100% feeling here :)
another reason why i wouldn't want to share this blog is because i'm too lazy to start editing what i type (i guess you probably realise it by now) my letter "I"s are "i" but not the correct "I". and sometimes i miss out the " ' " in words such as " didnt " " wasnt " and of course my grammer and sentence structures are in a mess. c'mon life's too short to bother too much about all of these. and when i start being conscious about it, real feeling are not revealed.
of course I do hope that people read and come back to this blog again. not for viewer ratings of course (yes I do check but it doesn't affect me much). coming back makes this blog seem for worthy and of course, gives me better confidence ^^
Monday, October 14, 2013
finally feeling a little free now. and yup tomorrow's a public holiday and i thought it would be a great time to go out. but seems like no one is interested. I WA my closest friends to go out. no one replied :/ sighh probably gonna be another lonely day tmr :/ sucks. whats the point of having so many friends
Friday, October 11, 2013
you're never coming back
ever had a crush on this person and then shortly after you know he likes someone else. you kind of gave up on him but not entirely yet. hoping that he only ECs her and not really crush on her. then, you heard they started dating. this kinds of crushes your hope a little and spoils your mod a bit. bt after all, its only what you heard. may not be true. and since he is nice to everyone, you cant see that he's specially nice to her. its just not obvious. and then, the truth dawned upon you when you saw both of them going to school together. they were chatting happily. just like how a couple should be. it bugged you for the entire day. and then, once again, you lie to yourself that they probably just somehow met up along they way and decided to chat. like casual talk. you lie to yourself that they are merely close friends. it seemed like you accepted the fact that they are together and it's never turning back. but there's this little part of you that still hold on to the belief that they are not a couple. it finally became clear to you when people around them treat them as a couple. yes, they are indeed already a couple. a little heart-broken but well it was expected after all. you try to convince yourself that you should not interfere and wish them the best of luck. you know they suit each other so much better since they had a common interest and liking. you know they'll go far. but you can't help but think otherwise, and end up feeling upset.
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
她和他
原来你所谓的“女朋友”早已追到手了。原来，那所谓的传言已成为事实了。其实，我早已预料到只是不愿相信、不愿接受而已。确定了以后，心里有些心酸，有那么一点点的心酸。如果哪不是事实，多好。哎。。虽然说早已放下，虽然说不可能，虽然说现在太早，虽然说不适合，但。。。我还是抱着那么一点点的希望。
原来他们当时所谓的“她”就是你。我有些小小的嫉妒。如果“她” 是我，多好。
是，是时候要真正地放下了。要祝福他们。你们会幸福的。有着共同的话题、爱好。吉它又弹得好，那里必得上我。弹起吉它，多么丢人现眼。
我会耐心等待，等待着属于我的“他”。
原来他们当时所谓的“她”就是你。我有些小小的嫉妒。如果“她” 是我，多好。
是，是时候要真正地放下了。要祝福他们。你们会幸福的。有着共同的话题、爱好。吉它又弹得好，那里必得上我。弹起吉它，多么丢人现眼。
我会耐心等待，等待着属于我的“他”。
Sunday, October 6, 2013
what a bad bad day
Have you ever had a time where you finally got a chance to prove your potential and how well you can get a job done. you were so positive about it that it would all go smoothly. however, you screwed up on your first task. the very first task. recuriting volunteers. such a simple task and your screwed it. and you sent that email to freaking 100+ of people and then follwoing that you had to send another email to the same people telling them to ignore the previous email. crewed it. max.
yes it might not seem like a huge issue and people would probably only curse you for longest, say, 15 min? and they forget about it soon. but it would probably affect me all the way, till the event ends, or maybe even longer. that's how important it is.
so yes, i screwed it up. my first task. i'm feeling very very very terrible now. i know it might not seem as something THAT BAD to others but really i feel stupid/dumb/sucky now. it feels a little embarressing also at the same time. yes i have another IC to work with. she has experience. i admit that i'm relying on her. initially. but she seems really inactive now. probably because she's busy with her PW? but hey if you actually realise i have PW too. and i have OCIP also. we need to share the burden. why am i doing it alone. yeah im in the BOD i hold a position. but that doesn't neccesarily means that you can slack off and make me do everything. of course this won't kill me. i believe it'll only teavh me to be stonger and to learn to accept sucj setbacks. i'll still keep a positive mindset. but i have to admit that i feel really really really suck-y now. i wish that did not happen. AT ALL. NOT AT ALL.
ok and i just whatsapp-ed her and she's inactive. am i being too quick? should i slow down? but isn't it better to settle it quickly. seriously you're getting on my nerves.
yes it might not seem like a huge issue and people would probably only curse you for longest, say, 15 min? and they forget about it soon. but it would probably affect me all the way, till the event ends, or maybe even longer. that's how important it is.
so yes, i screwed it up. my first task. i'm feeling very very very terrible now. i know it might not seem as something THAT BAD to others but really i feel stupid/dumb/sucky now. it feels a little embarressing also at the same time. yes i have another IC to work with. she has experience. i admit that i'm relying on her. initially. but she seems really inactive now. probably because she's busy with her PW? but hey if you actually realise i have PW too. and i have OCIP also. we need to share the burden. why am i doing it alone. yeah im in the BOD i hold a position. but that doesn't neccesarily means that you can slack off and make me do everything. of course this won't kill me. i believe it'll only teavh me to be stonger and to learn to accept sucj setbacks. i'll still keep a positive mindset. but i have to admit that i feel really really really suck-y now. i wish that did not happen. AT ALL. NOT AT ALL.
ok and i just whatsapp-ed her and she's inactive. am i being too quick? should i slow down? but isn't it better to settle it quickly. seriously you're getting on my nerves.
Thursday, October 3, 2013
She's back
All right so she came back. Chaos. All over again.
I sincerely USED TO want her to come back. Missed her a little bit. Now it's just..can you please stay in the hostel?
Well, this was due to many reasons. I mentioned it in one of the previous posts that it as because we could no longer communicate like we used to (it really changed. drastically and quickly.) and of course due to the rather obvious bias-ness(which I've mentioned before) I understand that it was much needed to show her more care and concern since she was staying in the hostel, far far away from home(hey but Singapore isn't very large). They miss her, she misses them. Okay fine. But it really sucks to see your mother showing her more care and giving in to her so much more and you start wondering if she's your mum. I'm not exaggerating but you can see the obvious change when she returns home. Not sure if I am over-thinking but she went back to the supermarket to get this delicious tasting snack after we told her it was good. She came back with more today, probably because my mum knows that she is coming back. Maybe. So it wasn't because we liked it (I assumed it to be the case previously). Kinda sucks but it's the truth. Also, when she comes home, we definitely get better food. No doubt. We get good-tasting home-cooked soup with mouth-watering side dishes and home-made fruit juice on Sundays. When she doesn't come home, we get the usual not-so-appetizing side dishes. No soup. No fruit juices. You see what I mean?
Another drawback to having her back is that she finishes ALL the snacks we have. ALL OF IT. My other sister agrees. And my mum obviously does not blame her. So currently we've got 3 boxes of delioba, 10 boxes of pepero, 2 cans of pringles. She'll sweep everything away, really soon.
Final reason for not wanting her to come back, my peace. Some how it gets a little noisy when she's home. Rather have her to stay in the hostel. really.
I definitely wished she was around in the PAST. But no now. She used to be someone I can look for but now, it's ok I don't want to end up feeling hurt. Yes, you might be speaking the truth (such as: you got fatter. you got darker. No! you should aim for an "A" like me. You shouldn't be slacking now, go study!) But do you realised how much my self-confidence decreases with each line you say. Yeah it's my fault for having such vulnerable self esteem that can be easily crushed. But this means that all the more I should protect it. Your words used to seem so wise. Now, your tone (or maybe my perception) sounds as if you're mocking me.
So, I'm staying away from you. We still talk, just not as much, not for long. I need to protect myself and my confidence.
I sincerely USED TO want her to come back. Missed her a little bit. Now it's just..can you please stay in the hostel?
Well, this was due to many reasons. I mentioned it in one of the previous posts that it as because we could no longer communicate like we used to (it really changed. drastically and quickly.) and of course due to the rather obvious bias-ness(which I've mentioned before) I understand that it was much needed to show her more care and concern since she was staying in the hostel, far far away from home(hey but Singapore isn't very large). They miss her, she misses them. Okay fine. But it really sucks to see your mother showing her more care and giving in to her so much more and you start wondering if she's your mum. I'm not exaggerating but you can see the obvious change when she returns home. Not sure if I am over-thinking but she went back to the supermarket to get this delicious tasting snack after we told her it was good. She came back with more today, probably because my mum knows that she is coming back. Maybe. So it wasn't because we liked it (I assumed it to be the case previously). Kinda sucks but it's the truth. Also, when she comes home, we definitely get better food. No doubt. We get good-tasting home-cooked soup with mouth-watering side dishes and home-made fruit juice on Sundays. When she doesn't come home, we get the usual not-so-appetizing side dishes. No soup. No fruit juices. You see what I mean?
Another drawback to having her back is that she finishes ALL the snacks we have. ALL OF IT. My other sister agrees. And my mum obviously does not blame her. So currently we've got 3 boxes of delioba, 10 boxes of pepero, 2 cans of pringles. She'll sweep everything away, really soon.
Final reason for not wanting her to come back, my peace. Some how it gets a little noisy when she's home. Rather have her to stay in the hostel. really.
I definitely wished she was around in the PAST. But no now. She used to be someone I can look for but now, it's ok I don't want to end up feeling hurt. Yes, you might be speaking the truth (such as: you got fatter. you got darker. No! you should aim for an "A" like me. You shouldn't be slacking now, go study!) But do you realised how much my self-confidence decreases with each line you say. Yeah it's my fault for having such vulnerable self esteem that can be easily crushed. But this means that all the more I should protect it. Your words used to seem so wise. Now, your tone (or maybe my perception) sounds as if you're mocking me.
So, I'm staying away from you. We still talk, just not as much, not for long. I need to protect myself and my confidence.
:/
We all have this person we've got a crush on. And the longer it stays in your heart, probably the harder it is to forget. But I was just wondering, is it normal to have 2 crushes at the same time? Or maybe forget about the feelings you had for this crush over the holidays, but it comes back again when school reopen? This happens to me but I was just wondering.. is it normal?
This person come off and on. Sometimes I can totally ignore him but sometimes, just no. Sighh I don't know. He's nice. to everyone. I think that's why it happens.
This person come off and on. Sometimes I can totally ignore him but sometimes, just no. Sighh I don't know. He's nice. to everyone. I think that's why it happens.
Saturday, September 28, 2013
我不会喜欢你
我想我应该应该不会爱你
为了要努力努力的不爱你
所以我让自己那么喜欢你
这样你就不忍心和我分离
我想我讨厌讨厌骄傲的你
也讨厌美好美好的那个你
于是我要自己假装讨厌你
那么你就舍不得离我而去
我必须说我真的不会喜欢你
我不喜欢你占据我所有思绪
连你的窃笑也像是鼓励
从早安后的早餐到晚餐后的晚安
别笑了 别笑了 我不会喜欢你
我放空了 我解脱了
你还是在我的眼里
我喜欢了 我讨厌了
影响不了我的呼吸
原来我 已经无法自拔
我秘密的 爱上你
你不必懂 我真的不会喜欢你
我不想要你因为我变得消极
有你的城市下雨也美丽
从黎明后的太阳 到深夜里的月光
别想了 别想了 我不会喜欢你
别想了 别想了 我不会喜欢你
我不会喜欢你
作词：徐誉庭
作曲：陈柏霖 王宏恩
演唱：陈柏霖http://www.666ccc.com/lrc/15930/373907.htm
为了要努力努力的不爱你
所以我让自己那么喜欢你
这样你就不忍心和我分离
我想我讨厌讨厌骄傲的你
也讨厌美好美好的那个你
于是我要自己假装讨厌你
那么你就舍不得离我而去
我必须说我真的不会喜欢你
我不喜欢你占据我所有思绪
连你的窃笑也像是鼓励
从早安后的早餐到晚餐后的晚安
别笑了 别笑了 我不会喜欢你
我放空了 我解脱了
你还是在我的眼里
我喜欢了 我讨厌了
影响不了我的呼吸
原来我 已经无法自拔
我秘密的 爱上你
你不必懂 我真的不会喜欢你
我不想要你因为我变得消极
有你的城市下雨也美丽
从黎明后的太阳 到深夜里的月光
别想了 别想了 我不会喜欢你
别想了 别想了 我不会喜欢你
我不会喜欢你
作词：徐誉庭
作曲：陈柏霖 王宏恩
演唱：陈柏霖http://www.666ccc.com/lrc/15930/373907.htm
巴士车
嘿，有没有觉得在等待对的另一半出现的时候，就像。。在巴士车一样？一整天就等于我们生活中的整个岁月。 在早晨等待就像小时候把自己想象成白雪公主一样在等待白马王子的出现。天真地认为第一眼看到的男生就是我们的白马王子。不小心爱错，会受伤。就像乘搭巴士一样，认为第一辆来的巴士会让我们抵达想到的的目的地，但却不知道这种想法是错的。乘搭的那个搭巴士有着一群上班族，拥挤。脆弱的自己容易被别人推倒。结果受伤。
下午等巴士，就像成熟的我们在等待适合的对象。我们清楚，所以更有可能搭上对的巴士。但，挑三拣四的我们有时候为了让旅程更舒适，宁愿等下一辆。也许。。下一辆的巴士的座位、环境会更舒服一些。因为它是新的款式。我们认为还年轻，时间还早，所以宁愿继续等待，不必心急。等着等着。。。渐渐到晚上了。。晚上的车子少了，到了深夜里跟不用说。就像人渐渐老了。。追你的人也少了。你心急、害怕最后没人来载。若到最后还是不愿乘搭巴士，坚持最后一定会有一辆适合自己的巴士来到巴士站，也许太晚了。孤淋淋的自己在巴士暂等待。在等也没有巴士车了。
若一直都有一辆巴士在旁边等待你接受它，到最后没车子的时候你会接受它吗？
下午等巴士，就像成熟的我们在等待适合的对象。我们清楚，所以更有可能搭上对的巴士。但，挑三拣四的我们有时候为了让旅程更舒适，宁愿等下一辆。也许。。下一辆的巴士的座位、环境会更舒服一些。因为它是新的款式。我们认为还年轻，时间还早，所以宁愿继续等待，不必心急。等着等着。。。渐渐到晚上了。。晚上的车子少了，到了深夜里跟不用说。就像人渐渐老了。。追你的人也少了。你心急、害怕最后没人来载。若到最后还是不愿乘搭巴士，坚持最后一定会有一辆适合自己的巴士来到巴士站，也许太晚了。孤淋淋的自己在巴士暂等待。在等也没有巴士车了。
若一直都有一辆巴士在旁边等待你接受它，到最后没车子的时候你会接受它吗？
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
Mummy - the exhibition
my promos are over so i met up with 2 of my besties from guitar :) we went to the art science museum for the mummy exhibition and all i have to say is that my money was well spent! spent $13 on it (regular $15) cause i am a singapore citizen :)
it started off with a 3D 'movie' that 'dissects' the mummy and they explain each part clearly together with the graphics. it was sort of an introduction for me since i had no background of mummies. i initially wanted to visit the exhibit just cause i had no idea where to go and i thought it was pretty cool. was a little afriad that i would be bored but that video sparked my interest in it. so if you happen to be going please do not miss the video. ITS AWESOME. the 3D glasses were a little hard to wear(since they had to give it free), but there was still the 'effect'.
we went to on the exhibitions next and it was like any other exhibits with all the exhibits(umm duhhh..lol) although there were some parts of the description that was a little too low or a little too dim such that i had to squint my eyes to read it, the experience was great. they actually had more hands-on stuff, like they actually have a sample of the cloth used to wrap the mummy for you too feel. and they also have samples of the things they stuff into the mummy(e.g. some special salt, mud,straw etc) and yeah you CAN touch them. they even had a real mummy (covered of course) without the glass box around it(of course they had cameras around it). I would say that although i hope it would have been a little longer(by 15-25 min maybe?) i was pleased with the exhibition.
they also had an activity pouch which you could rent it with your IC. i rented the for 13-16 yrs one and although there were indeed a lot of interesting activities, it was rather useless. firstly it was difficult to open up the pouches while viewing the exhibits and carrying your other bag(with your personal belongings) and (i opened up the bag after the exhibit) some were almost impossible to be done (like dressing up?? it would be really weird if you do it in the middle of the exhibit) and memory card game which was rather useless. i think these activities were probably used to entertain the kids while their parents view the exhibits?? probably.
i must say that i am not a fan of such exhibitions. i've been to a few overseas museums over the years (i travel every year) and this is one of the FEWWWW (really) that captured my interest :) so if you've yet to visit it, please do so before it ends! :)
through this experience one ironic thing that i've found out is that despite my past 11 years of education (ok i started education before primary school but let's just make it simple) those things that i've learnt were useless and uninteresting. unlike the 2 short hours that i've spent on this exhibition. the knowledge stays on much longer and i definitely had more fun learning about mummification. probably because i'm able to appreciate it more, unlike the things I've learnt in school (it all memorizing and really, i've got minimal interest in it. taking the subject combi just cause i have to.)
really ironic that i've learnt more though a 2 hours exhibition than 11 years of my life in school.
"project"
here it is!! *drumrolls*
(c) greentealeaves
haha it might not be seen as something huge but im really proud of this ^^ haha its my first time :)) i'll see how things go and probably do more of such stuff that im seriously in love with :))
haha it might not be seen as something huge but im really proud of this ^^ haha its my first time :)) i'll see how things go and probably do more of such stuff that im seriously in love with :))
Monday, September 23, 2013
completed :)
just completed my math paper. screwed it. very badly. i might even have trouble getting a 45m pass instead of a 50m pass. sigh. i seriously don't want to fail and to take a R paper and worst, retain. yup i shouldn't be here typing away knowing that i have another paper tomorrow and should be busy studying away. but i need to vent it out before i move on. its my personality.
so anyways, im done with my 'project'! completed the final part last night! but im not planning to upload it today (whoops) haha only tmr k? its a promise i made to myself! only tomorrow so let's be patient :) that's it and im off to study for my FINAL paper :) all the best and good luck!
so anyways, im done with my 'project'! completed the final part last night! but im not planning to upload it today (whoops) haha only tmr k? its a promise i made to myself! only tomorrow so let's be patient :) that's it and im off to study for my FINAL paper :) all the best and good luck!
独处
明天的这一个时候，希望能自己度过。
或许会有其他的朋友是希望能与一群朋友度过，我却希望是自己一个。听起来很孤单，寂寞，但其实独处也是一种享受。就像大家常说的 "alone time". 谁说独处就一定是被别人排斥，不一定。
明天的这一个时候若真的是自己独处的时间，其实最想做的事就是独自去看一部电影。静静地看着也不错。虽然是想这么做，但我不会。原因很简单——害怕别人嘲笑。嘲笑我孤僻。我承认自己不够勇敢。承认自己害怕别人的闲言闲语。
所以宁愿呆在家里。因为别人看不见。会做什么呢？hmmmm 弹吉它吧。。在网上看电影。。减肥计划。。接下来的打算。。上网。。就这样吧。简单，平凡，但偏偏就是我想要做的。
哦对了，还有一个。是最想做的，但也是最不可能的——出国。独自出国。是疯了。但就是好玩。
人生本来就应该是享受。对吧？
Saturday, September 21, 2013
New 'project'
hmm recently I've been working on this really cool 'project' which i'm looking forward to see it's final product :))
haha ok actually i started it only on friday so technically it's only been 2 days and it's already 50% done! (so as you can see this 'project' is not a huge one so please dont expect anything AMAZING) but anyways it's something that i definitely love doing (there's no boundaries) and theres 0 stress when doing it :) although sometimes i do get a little distracted (it's still me promos season and i still need to study), it kinda keeps me focused ... better?? haha promise to upload the entire photo when it's done! here's just a little part of it. hmm currently im only going to put up the full picture on here and twitter but im still wondering where to place the hardcopy at. in my file?on my wall? or leave it where it is? we'll see how it goes :)
DISCLAIMER: did this purely for joy and i do not intend to claim any recognition from anyone :) I REALLY LIKE DOODLING
DISCLAIMER: did this purely for joy and i do not intend to claim any recognition from anyone :) I REALLY LIKE DOODLING
haha so how did this all come about?? while i was doing math. see now you realise how boring JC math is.. to the extent that i'll be doodling(oops i just realised i leaked out a hint :P).. and actually considering it as a 'project'. i really have 0 interest for math and im doing it just cause its compulsory. and frankly speaking, this seems to be the case for most singaporean students. really. i've went around asking my friends what they would be doing now if it wasn't compulsory to take these subjects/be in school/ study. so far none of them told me that they would be studying math. so you see...
haha ok i know i rarely have an objective for my posts ..cause i love freestyle.. i mean blogging is typing anything that comes to your mind? no? well at least that's how i see it :)) had a great day cause it's 50 % done. so here's a fraction of the 'project'!
100 % hand-drawn!
lol i know the lighting is a bit off.. :P promise to not take the completed one at night :P
Saturday, September 14, 2013
never expected to end my day like this.
there you go.. judging people again. and this time, your daughter. how awesome can that get
hell yeah i know i'm not as smart as her. i know im not as hardworking. i know i seem very slack. i know i am very slack. i know im not putting as much effort as she used to. and of course the most superficial/shallow one jc life has made me ugly and you're now more proud of her cause she's got a scholarship, got prettier (that's what she said) and got people going after her. uh um its just that i dont tell you right -.- now you're totally treating her like goddess and im just like trash even when i try so hard to make our relationship a little better by seeming more enthusiastic when talk to you
i don;t get it. i really don't. why, i mean seriously why? are you more biased towards her. yeah she's smart. but in my opinion, that's the only more significant thing that she's good at. im better than her in other non academic terms like my cca and even my moral values (i strongly believe that i indeed have better values than she does and am more independent) im not trying to 'sell' myself here but seriously. it a fact. even she agrees. (indirectly though). i don't get why you're biased towards her when most of the time you're complaining about how messy she is, how reliant she is on you, how 'princess-y' she is. this doesn't make sense at all.
so back to the incident. i finally decided to sleep early and wake up early tmr while having at least 6 hrs of sleep (i've been having only 3 hrs the past few days) then she pours cold water saying that i dont look tired. ok i admit that i am not VERY tired. but i came to that decision cause my promos is in a day's time and i was really unproductive ( i believe that i can do more tmr morning). obviously she doesnt trust me and think that im incompetent no matter what. trust me, im not over-thinking. its a fact. she's plain bias and judgmental and i dislike it. a lot. was my mum like that all the while (i dont remember it being this extreme) or did she change, just like my sis did? either ways, i detest her present self.
towards the judgmental thing. omg i can't believe she's actually like this. really. she kinds of think that her kids are awesome and well-liked/gone-after by guys (which i shall not deny) but that doesnt give you the right to start looking down on others and start judging them. im not really sure why i detest this whole "judgmental' thing but it really irks me when i hear people making negative comments on others when they dont personally know them at all/well. (if its positive then fine). its really unfair for the person. yeah maybe this particular action of a person shocked you ( in a really negative way) but that definitely does not reflect on his character and values. besides, what gives you the right to make comments on this innocent person? how are you superior to him to speak that of him? both of you are nothing but humans and are on equal footing. EQUAL. you being a senior doesnt make you superior to him at all (in my opinion)
this seriously sucks. the day started off well and everything was smooth sailing. i completed my stuff on time and even had extra time to chill and relax. i came up with a good studying plan for tmr and was looking forward to it. and just as i was about to end the day with a happy heart looking forward to the next morning, i heard this conversation between you two and then you made the comment about me turning in early. it totally ruined everything. although typing it out did make it feel a little better (i love to rant), i still feel upset and thoroughly disappointed in you. as my mother, you should teach me the correct way of treating a person and not lead me in the wrong direction. im glad im able to hold my stance and not waver from your childish and immature comments. i still respect you as my mum, but really, stop judging.
i know nobody's perfect and for sure, i would have (unknowingly) went around judging people. but i promise that it was definitely unintentional and i did not do it to make myself feel superior.
sigh, i hope i'll get over it soon. esp the part about the bais-ness. it was present already but it just got more obvious ever since she went to hostel (even my sis agrees). its not wrong to be bias cause our heart (literally) is leaned right. but it becomes disturbing when it gets obvious. we feelings ok? i respect that you prefer her more than me. it's ok. really. cause life's unfair. but please, practice control over it. stop hurting me so much. i dont want to cry myself to sleep every night thinking that my mum dislikes me. it sucks.
hell yeah i know i'm not as smart as her. i know im not as hardworking. i know i seem very slack. i know i am very slack. i know im not putting as much effort as she used to. and of course the most superficial/shallow one jc life has made me ugly and you're now more proud of her cause she's got a scholarship, got prettier (that's what she said) and got people going after her. uh um its just that i dont tell you right -.- now you're totally treating her like goddess and im just like trash even when i try so hard to make our relationship a little better by seeming more enthusiastic when talk to you
i don;t get it. i really don't. why, i mean seriously why? are you more biased towards her. yeah she's smart. but in my opinion, that's the only more significant thing that she's good at. im better than her in other non academic terms like my cca and even my moral values (i strongly believe that i indeed have better values than she does and am more independent) im not trying to 'sell' myself here but seriously. it a fact. even she agrees. (indirectly though). i don't get why you're biased towards her when most of the time you're complaining about how messy she is, how reliant she is on you, how 'princess-y' she is. this doesn't make sense at all.
so back to the incident. i finally decided to sleep early and wake up early tmr while having at least 6 hrs of sleep (i've been having only 3 hrs the past few days) then she pours cold water saying that i dont look tired. ok i admit that i am not VERY tired. but i came to that decision cause my promos is in a day's time and i was really unproductive ( i believe that i can do more tmr morning). obviously she doesnt trust me and think that im incompetent no matter what. trust me, im not over-thinking. its a fact. she's plain bias and judgmental and i dislike it. a lot. was my mum like that all the while (i dont remember it being this extreme) or did she change, just like my sis did? either ways, i detest her present self.
towards the judgmental thing. omg i can't believe she's actually like this. really. she kinds of think that her kids are awesome and well-liked/gone-after by guys (which i shall not deny) but that doesnt give you the right to start looking down on others and start judging them. im not really sure why i detest this whole "judgmental' thing but it really irks me when i hear people making negative comments on others when they dont personally know them at all/well. (if its positive then fine). its really unfair for the person. yeah maybe this particular action of a person shocked you ( in a really negative way) but that definitely does not reflect on his character and values. besides, what gives you the right to make comments on this innocent person? how are you superior to him to speak that of him? both of you are nothing but humans and are on equal footing. EQUAL. you being a senior doesnt make you superior to him at all (in my opinion)
this seriously sucks. the day started off well and everything was smooth sailing. i completed my stuff on time and even had extra time to chill and relax. i came up with a good studying plan for tmr and was looking forward to it. and just as i was about to end the day with a happy heart looking forward to the next morning, i heard this conversation between you two and then you made the comment about me turning in early. it totally ruined everything. although typing it out did make it feel a little better (i love to rant), i still feel upset and thoroughly disappointed in you. as my mother, you should teach me the correct way of treating a person and not lead me in the wrong direction. im glad im able to hold my stance and not waver from your childish and immature comments. i still respect you as my mum, but really, stop judging.
i know nobody's perfect and for sure, i would have (unknowingly) went around judging people. but i promise that it was definitely unintentional and i did not do it to make myself feel superior.
sigh, i hope i'll get over it soon. esp the part about the bais-ness. it was present already but it just got more obvious ever since she went to hostel (even my sis agrees). its not wrong to be bias cause our heart (literally) is leaned right. but it becomes disturbing when it gets obvious. we feelings ok? i respect that you prefer her more than me. it's ok. really. cause life's unfair. but please, practice control over it. stop hurting me so much. i dont want to cry myself to sleep every night thinking that my mum dislikes me. it sucks.
it's unhealthy
i've been surviving on an average of 4 hours of sleep per day for this entire week. and it's definitely the most productive week i've ever had. up to date. im serious. it was just wake up => study all the way => sleep really late (around 3 am?). i do slack somewhere along the way but i finish my work(most of the time)
but it's really worrying me quite a bit because i'll drink coffee early in the morning to ensure that i do not feel sleepy later in the day and that i am able to study. but its really unhealthy to do so. i know. and sometimes i start having very late supper so that i keep myself awake. but nowadays i see all my eye bags/ dark eye rings popping out and its ugly :( someone tell me what to do! ><
but it's really worrying me quite a bit because i'll drink coffee early in the morning to ensure that i do not feel sleepy later in the day and that i am able to study. but its really unhealthy to do so. i know. and sometimes i start having very late supper so that i keep myself awake. but nowadays i see all my eye bags/ dark eye rings popping out and its ugly :( someone tell me what to do! ><
it comes both ways. right?
I really dislike people looking/staring/glancing into my room. REALLY.
I don't keep my doors closed when i'm in my room (my parents dislike it. i tried closing it but they'll open up again and ask me why i closed it so ever since then, i've decided to leave it open)(i mean i've got nothing to hide and if it makes them feel better.. ok.) so when you walk past my room and happen to look in (which i dislike) you'll see what im doing (duhh) cause my table's right smack facing the door.(which means i'm facing the door too). the reason why i dislike people looking into my room/randomly entering my room/stand in front of my table and shutting up is because it gets really irritating cause i find it distracting. by looking into my room when you walk past makes it feel like you're spying on me or something. i mean, if you want to know what im doing. ASK ME. open up your mouth and ASK. i dont like people to be glancing into my room every time they walk past (esp my parents) . im really tempted to add a sign outside my room "ask me if you want to know what i'm doing. stop glancing , its RUDE. and i mean it. it IS rude to do so. even if you're my parent. we need to respect each other. ok? i'm sure you wont like it if i start peering over your shoulders when you're using the laptop right? it goes the same way. i gave in to you by leaving my door open so you should also do the same by changing that bad habit of yours. i'll truly appreciate it. thanks. a lot.
respect come both ways. i respected your decision of leaving my door open so respect mine too and give me some privacy.
I don't keep my doors closed when i'm in my room (my parents dislike it. i tried closing it but they'll open up again and ask me why i closed it so ever since then, i've decided to leave it open)(i mean i've got nothing to hide and if it makes them feel better.. ok.) so when you walk past my room and happen to look in (which i dislike) you'll see what im doing (duhh) cause my table's right smack facing the door.(which means i'm facing the door too). the reason why i dislike people looking into my room/randomly entering my room/stand in front of my table and shutting up is because it gets really irritating cause i find it distracting. by looking into my room when you walk past makes it feel like you're spying on me or something. i mean, if you want to know what im doing. ASK ME. open up your mouth and ASK. i dont like people to be glancing into my room every time they walk past (esp my parents) . im really tempted to add a sign outside my room "ask me if you want to know what i'm doing. stop glancing , its RUDE. and i mean it. it IS rude to do so. even if you're my parent. we need to respect each other. ok? i'm sure you wont like it if i start peering over your shoulders when you're using the laptop right? it goes the same way. i gave in to you by leaving my door open so you should also do the same by changing that bad habit of yours. i'll truly appreciate it. thanks. a lot.
respect come both ways. i respected your decision of leaving my door open so respect mine too and give me some privacy.
Thursday, September 12, 2013
0% carbo :))
3rd post of the day with promos in 3 day's time!!! i must be crazy.
anyways, im in a rather good mood now (even though the weather's really unbearable and i'm waiting for it to rain) cause i just made my own lunch ^^ satisfaction level is at its maximum right now :)
ok so i wanted to try making my own lunch (i have a maid) cause 1. I got bored 2. making your own lunch is FUN 3. wanted to be healthy by having a 0% carbo meal (ok i had 1 stick of crabstick actually :P)(and i added 1 1/2 teaspoon of oil :P)
I had boiled veggie(x4) and crabstick(x1) with 0% oil and 0% carbo. HEALTHY! :) hmm ok halfway through it got a little bland so i added some kind of jap sauce. It tasted much better after that.
I also had omelette+onion+chicken nugget and chicken nugget. This was the part where i added 1 1/2 teaspoon of oil. too much. my throat felt a little greasy after the meal :( well, i should have cooked the omellette+onion(sliced)+chicken nugget(sliced) a little longer and maybe should have added a little salt/chili/pepper or smth. a little bland but still nice :) as for the chicken nugget i realised there was still a LITTLE bit of egg left so i added it in. it formed a thin layer of fried egg (duhh) over the nugget which made it taste nicer cause that layer was crispy :) (you should try it too!)
so overall (sorry no picture, my dad was sitting there you see) although i was a LITTLE BIT bland but definitely very healthy :) a healthy me makes a happy me. and i believe it works that was for you too :)
P.S. ok i really need to focus but its in the afternoon and its getting a little warm....
anyways, im in a rather good mood now (even though the weather's really unbearable and i'm waiting for it to rain) cause i just made my own lunch ^^ satisfaction level is at its maximum right now :)
ok so i wanted to try making my own lunch (i have a maid) cause 1. I got bored 2. making your own lunch is FUN 3. wanted to be healthy by having a 0% carbo meal (ok i had 1 stick of crabstick actually :P)(and i added 1 1/2 teaspoon of oil :P)
I had boiled veggie(x4) and crabstick(x1) with 0% oil and 0% carbo. HEALTHY! :) hmm ok halfway through it got a little bland so i added some kind of jap sauce. It tasted much better after that.
I also had omelette+onion+chicken nugget and chicken nugget. This was the part where i added 1 1/2 teaspoon of oil. too much. my throat felt a little greasy after the meal :( well, i should have cooked the omellette+onion(sliced)+chicken nugget(sliced) a little longer and maybe should have added a little salt/chili/pepper or smth. a little bland but still nice :) as for the chicken nugget i realised there was still a LITTLE bit of egg left so i added it in. it formed a thin layer of fried egg (duhh) over the nugget which made it taste nicer cause that layer was crispy :) (you should try it too!)
so overall (sorry no picture, my dad was sitting there you see) although i was a LITTLE BIT bland but definitely very healthy :) a healthy me makes a happy me. and i believe it works that was for you too :)
P.S. ok i really need to focus but its in the afternoon and its getting a little warm....
a bright or dull orange ink used
when you tell your friends how depressed you feel or anything negative. they tell you they've got your back. they tell you they'll always be there. 24/7.
sometimes it's not good to over-promise if you can't fulfill that.
friendship is a beautiful thing. it can be built within seconds, it can last for a lifetime. but only if made with the right people and with the right effort to sustain it.
frankly speaking, i dont feel that i'm suited for friendships (the long-lasting ones). i mean, i would wish and love to have it but sometimes i feel that i'm too realistic to have one. i'm too self-centered to think of my friends before me. yeah i went out on a date with my girlfriends a week before my promos but it's to the extend that even my friends feels that i'm too........... arghh i dont know whats that words but it's negative :/
i try to change. but i'm a really extreme person. it's either i change to be reallyyyyyy nice and give in to everything and probably end up over-doing it. or be really mean and end up having no true friends.
well im only 17 and i know i have a long way ahead of me to meet many more people to forge even more friendships. but i can't help feeling lonely now.
sometimes it's not good to over-promise if you can't fulfill that.
friendship is a beautiful thing. it can be built within seconds, it can last for a lifetime. but only if made with the right people and with the right effort to sustain it.
frankly speaking, i dont feel that i'm suited for friendships (the long-lasting ones). i mean, i would wish and love to have it but sometimes i feel that i'm too realistic to have one. i'm too self-centered to think of my friends before me. yeah i went out on a date with my girlfriends a week before my promos but it's to the extend that even my friends feels that i'm too........... arghh i dont know whats that words but it's negative :/
i try to change. but i'm a really extreme person. it's either i change to be reallyyyyyy nice and give in to everything and probably end up over-doing it. or be really mean and end up having no true friends.
well im only 17 and i know i have a long way ahead of me to meet many more people to forge even more friendships. but i can't help feeling lonely now.
it's a lonely day for the green tea leaves to be lonely. even though they've got each other.
this is a place where i really shouldn't lie. or else there's really no place where i can be truthful to myself. i admit it. there are times where i feel really lonely.
It's not that i do not have friends and it's definitely not that i'm an outcast in school. i do have friends and i get along well with them. but none of them are my true friends. those i can look to for any help or to simply just talk or do retarded stuff. so many friendships forged, but none of those i can be comfortable around. talk about being comfortable, i can only do that around my family.
what lead me to this topic was something really...insignificant. it was just because of a study date (my promos in 3 days :/) usually i'll visit the library with my sis to study (for this week) but it happened that she had tuition so she had to stay at home. I could either visit the library myself, go to school ot stay at home. i tried contacting my 'closer' friends but (for twice) no one wanted. some had other plans while others just said it was too sudden (they had to seek their parent's consent. see what i mean? my friends were...less YOLO. i like having sudden events rather than planned. but it doesnt and cannot happen that way. i realised i couldnt find anyone to go out on a study date with. of course i could go to the library or to school myself. but i need someone to be there studying so that i'll tend to 'drift off ' less. i felt really lonely. and it seemed like i've distant from my 'closer' friends. this thought was definitely not only due to this issue but many other reasons. i wonder if i'm the only one feeling this way or it's just a jc problem (there were quite a number of tweets, from the people i follow, regarding friendships)
i wish i could find this one, true soul mate. well i know that, of course, i have to start being like one before being able to find one. i tried. but till date i still feel lonely.
maybe i just dont realize the number of friends that i have that care for me. i always comfort myself this way. and hopefully it happens to be true.
Monday, September 9, 2013
ok i admit im posting just cause i got bored of studying :/
so anyways, not really sure if cause we're just too busy with studying/ i stopped starting the convo/she just realised i kinda dislike talking to her. we havent said a word to each other since the last time. and we live under the same roof. WOW. i mean seriously, we see each other in the house but we didnt talk. not at all. its not like i missed talking to her but its just.. weird(?).
anyways, i kinda realise that studying is sucking away all my time to do other things. before i started this post i was thinking about something eventful that happened which i could talk about (my hands started getting itchy to type) but apparently there was none. wow out of 48 hours of my life there was nothing eventful to talk about. probably cause i was hiding in the library, mugging away (well i spent about ~1/3 of my time slacking)(hey my promos is in a week's time!)
I was actually hoping for a more "happening" thing to occur :/ why is my life so boring. (wells maybe it will get more "exciting" after promos)(I'll get REAL BUSY)
Saturday, September 7, 2013
back to the past....
wow third post.. its already 1:25am and i still have my circular motion & WEP to check, gravitation ws and integration to do. and i need to be in school by 8.30. hmmmmm ok.
right, so i used to own a blog too..but i kind of shut it down. not sure why. just had the urge to do so. ok i was a pretty...brain-less kid. in the sense that i was immature. i guess i still am but at least its not that bad anymore. I was Sec1 then and we had a farewell party for the seniors. it was my first time being exposed to all these sort of things (we didnt have it in primary school..) especially being ordered around by the seniors. i detested it. then. I didnt like people ordering me about. what's more making me carry canteen benches while the seniors are slacking away chattering. of couse i was mad ( haha I didnt know this was how thing work then). I think i showed it on my face (my expression can be easily read). anyways so i got home, angry, and furiously typed out the situation and started complaining. like crazy. no joke. and obviously they knew since they know my blog's URL. (so dumb of me) and of course i got scolded blah blah blah. i guess it got really complicated from there just that i didnt know. This incident left a huge scar and i took some time to heal from it (actually i was shocked, i didnt realise it would result in such a hugeee 'response') but of course it was also a turning point from then. i learnt the ropes, knew how things worked, and of course never committed that 'crime' again. I grew up from there knowing the importance of respect and of course to not publicly show that you're upset (even though i sometimes still do this now). However, this does not necessarily mean i agree with their past actions. thankfully, my batch agreed that it was the wrong way to treat the juniors. we decided that working together was a better method and of course it happened that way.
i still feel sorry to the seniors that i have hurt while i was in my sec 1 year (I was SERIOUSLY immature, brain-less kid back then).
虽然希望那从未发生过，但感激从中成长了。。。
right, so i used to own a blog too..but i kind of shut it down. not sure why. just had the urge to do so. ok i was a pretty...brain-less kid. in the sense that i was immature. i guess i still am but at least its not that bad anymore. I was Sec1 then and we had a farewell party for the seniors. it was my first time being exposed to all these sort of things (we didnt have it in primary school..) especially being ordered around by the seniors. i detested it. then. I didnt like people ordering me about. what's more making me carry canteen benches while the seniors are slacking away chattering. of couse i was mad ( haha I didnt know this was how thing work then). I think i showed it on my face (my expression can be easily read). anyways so i got home, angry, and furiously typed out the situation and started complaining. like crazy. no joke. and obviously they knew since they know my blog's URL. (so dumb of me) and of course i got scolded blah blah blah. i guess it got really complicated from there just that i didnt know. This incident left a huge scar and i took some time to heal from it (actually i was shocked, i didnt realise it would result in such a hugeee 'response') but of course it was also a turning point from then. i learnt the ropes, knew how things worked, and of course never committed that 'crime' again. I grew up from there knowing the importance of respect and of course to not publicly show that you're upset (even though i sometimes still do this now). However, this does not necessarily mean i agree with their past actions. thankfully, my batch agreed that it was the wrong way to treat the juniors. we decided that working together was a better method and of course it happened that way.
i still feel sorry to the seniors that i have hurt while i was in my sec 1 year (I was SERIOUSLY immature, brain-less kid back then).
虽然希望那从未发生过，但感激从中成长了。。。
I never knew
ok i confess i just read it. wow. I knew it was like that. but not THAT bad. i didnt know what happened between you guys but i just wish everything would change for the better. i agree with what you said. it's true. and yeah she needs to change. she needs to realise that what she's doing is pissing us off.
清楚你性格内向，但希望你有烦恼时可以来找我。虽然不一定能给你最好的解决方法，但把心事藏在心里会内伤的。只想让你知道我永远都在 ：）
清楚你性格内向，但希望你有烦恼时可以来找我。虽然不一定能给你最好的解决方法，但把心事藏在心里会内伤的。只想让你知道我永远都在 ：）
I wish things were a little better
all right so here it goes..
I've got one more week till my promos but lately many things have been happening (or was i just over thinking) and i realized i pretty much need a blog. or at least somewhere to rant. I mean i have a diary but writing out is too slow and... i tend to have really ugly hand writing so the book looks kind of ugly..
so anyways, hmm, i have 2 sisters and to speak the truth, i used to be closer to my elder sis. probably because we had an extra 2 years of interaction as compared to with my younger sis. or maybe just cause this was how everything is. I mean i guess i was pretty close to both of them :) we didnt quarrel much... which was something we could "boast" about since sibling usually quarrel. a lot. much more than us. much much more. but this wasn't that good for us i realised. just a moment ago. having no quarrels meant that we agreed/accepted/gave in to each other most of the time. i mean, we are bound to have different views, but we dont say it. sometimes the unfair-ness bottles up. and when it erupts, it gets really bad. and when we still refuse to speak the truth, it just gets worse.
I used to look for my elder sis and talk to her a lot. from anything random to really serious stuff that can make me tear up. I looked up to her as my role model (im not kidding. really) she was really nice then,so different from now. Im not sure when everything started to change, probably after she went JC? or after her hall life started? i cant remember. i just knew that we wasn't the person i used to know, the one i could talk to for a really king time. nowadays, with 2 sentences (max) she can totally piss me off. it wasn't like that. definitely not. she started becoming a total different person. she started comparing everything of her against me. it seemed like she was trying to bring me down by telling me how good she was (to be frank, i have low self-esteem so i get brought down real quick). i knew i didnt like the way she was acting but i didnt bother telling her since i was pretty much used to keeping these opinions to myself. of course it got worse, i pretty much try to avoid starting a conversation with her. she changed. and i didn't like a single but of it. yeah she was more..open??? but also became more proud?? and... ok i cant think of a word to describe it. its just... different now.
she told me that reflection was good. she even voluntarily typed out a 2 page (or was it 4?) which reflected her experiences working as an intern at KPMG. and i was like WOW good. yeah she told me that she's been reflecting every now and then (it's good for personal growth) and she feels that she needs to be more sensitive to others and i was like ok good... but now im wondering, did she became more sensitive? no. cause if she was, she wouldnt have done that to me. not at all. conclusion: her reflection was all words but no actions.
she's smart i must admit. academically and of course street smart too. she was the typical smart student.. all As for her O's and A's. many scholarships attained. had a good relationship with the teachers. yeah she has a good heart too since she loves kids. but..somehow...i wasn't exactly hoping that i'll turn out to be like her. cause she's really got some problem with her character/personality/relationships (im sorry i dont exactly know which to put under cause currently im still really confused/shocked/upset by her change. i really miss the past her). i think she really needs to learn to be more considerate and sensitive to other's feelings. i think im suppose to tell her and i think i need to.but how? and would she listen? or would she be pissed.
currently our relationship is still neutral (it used to be excellent to the extend that my friends are jealous that we have such close relationship. really).but if she's going to stay the way she is.. and not change... someday... things might just get worse and i wouldnt want that to happen.
外面的雨下得好大，还好有这温暖的家。
I've got one more week till my promos but lately many things have been happening (or was i just over thinking) and i realized i pretty much need a blog. or at least somewhere to rant. I mean i have a diary but writing out is too slow and... i tend to have really ugly hand writing so the book looks kind of ugly..
so anyways, hmm, i have 2 sisters and to speak the truth, i used to be closer to my elder sis. probably because we had an extra 2 years of interaction as compared to with my younger sis. or maybe just cause this was how everything is. I mean i guess i was pretty close to both of them :) we didnt quarrel much... which was something we could "boast" about since sibling usually quarrel. a lot. much more than us. much much more. but this wasn't that good for us i realised. just a moment ago. having no quarrels meant that we agreed/accepted/gave in to each other most of the time. i mean, we are bound to have different views, but we dont say it. sometimes the unfair-ness bottles up. and when it erupts, it gets really bad. and when we still refuse to speak the truth, it just gets worse.
I used to look for my elder sis and talk to her a lot. from anything random to really serious stuff that can make me tear up. I looked up to her as my role model (im not kidding. really) she was really nice then,so different from now. Im not sure when everything started to change, probably after she went JC? or after her hall life started? i cant remember. i just knew that we wasn't the person i used to know, the one i could talk to for a really king time. nowadays, with 2 sentences (max) she can totally piss me off. it wasn't like that. definitely not. she started becoming a total different person. she started comparing everything of her against me. it seemed like she was trying to bring me down by telling me how good she was (to be frank, i have low self-esteem so i get brought down real quick). i knew i didnt like the way she was acting but i didnt bother telling her since i was pretty much used to keeping these opinions to myself. of course it got worse, i pretty much try to avoid starting a conversation with her. she changed. and i didn't like a single but of it. yeah she was more..open??? but also became more proud?? and... ok i cant think of a word to describe it. its just... different now.
she told me that reflection was good. she even voluntarily typed out a 2 page (or was it 4?) which reflected her experiences working as an intern at KPMG. and i was like WOW good. yeah she told me that she's been reflecting every now and then (it's good for personal growth) and she feels that she needs to be more sensitive to others and i was like ok good... but now im wondering, did she became more sensitive? no. cause if she was, she wouldnt have done that to me. not at all. conclusion: her reflection was all words but no actions.
she's smart i must admit. academically and of course street smart too. she was the typical smart student.. all As for her O's and A's. many scholarships attained. had a good relationship with the teachers. yeah she has a good heart too since she loves kids. but..somehow...i wasn't exactly hoping that i'll turn out to be like her. cause she's really got some problem with her character/personality/relationships (im sorry i dont exactly know which to put under cause currently im still really confused/shocked/upset by her change. i really miss the past her). i think she really needs to learn to be more considerate and sensitive to other's feelings. i think im suppose to tell her and i think i need to.but how? and would she listen? or would she be pissed.
currently our relationship is still neutral (it used to be excellent to the extend that my friends are jealous that we have such close relationship. really).but if she's going to stay the way she is.. and not change... someday... things might just get worse and i wouldnt want that to happen.
外面的雨下得好大，还好有这温暖的家。
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