Just when i thought everything was ok. everything was finally back to normal. I was back to how i used to be and it would never bug me again. It's hard.

It all began when we first met. First impression: above average, not bad. It didn't develop much from there though. Then when I saw you playing the guitar. damn. you were charismatic. really. and you were sitting right-smak in front of me. how could I miss it. how could I. It grew. real quick. that memory of him dragging you to the table as asking 'your ec right?'. you never knew how awesome that moment was. anyways, i tried hard to forget after realising that M also felt the same way. And she told me first. I couldn't be a b**** right. Yes, just as predicted. i acted crazily in front of you. that's my normal response. but it was embarrassing, thinking about it now.

I always wished you had a gf, so that would really convince me to forget and give up. And finally it came true. sigh. i was a little upset. and jealous of course. what. why. how. that girl's really lucky. REALLY. But she's a good catch. indeed, she's very pretty, very smart and also very good at playing the guitar. the perfect match for you. no wonder. and everyone was supportive of it. Me too. I mean, you guys really match well.

During the long holidays, i tend to forget about you. which is good. i thought i would stay that way. but it didn't. somehow, something would bring that feeling back. again. from being in the same section to that concert and back again in front. It's hard.

其实真的不知道喜欢你什么。这个问题问了10个月了。没答案。你真的真的真的好厉害。让我这个花心的女生喜欢你10个月了。its record breaking.

sometimes i really wished you weren't attached. i was really...a little... surprised(?)upset(?) to hear from him that you are about to get attached soon to the girl you've been chasing. but if you weren't attached everything could have been worse. maybe..just maybe.. it is all better this way.

now i understand why people can keep crushes for so long.

这不是借口，给自己一个理由不忘掉、不放下。我还是得真么做，会努力这么做。
憋在心里的话终于“说出口”。 我爽。