it's another one of those nights where you ponder if this 'weirdness' was a gift or a curse. it made me who i am, it made me different, it made me special. it also made me a little more abnormal, a little more difficult to understand, a lot more confusion and self-doubt.

on good days, you choose to believe that it is important to love yourself for who you are and that you are great just the way you are. i'm mad. but all the best people are. on bad days, these typical quotes can't seem to save you from the waves of negative emotions and thoughts. you're weird. period. you need to be fixed in some way, but you don't know how. sometimes a miracle happens. someone drops you a reminder about just how amazing you are as a person and that this 'weirdness' was not a curse but a gift.

i got emotional again tonight. some choose to tell me its a women thing, some tell me its stress, i don't know what to tell myself. i wish there was someone i could confide in, maybe for reassurance, maybe to seek for familiarity, maybe just to talk it out. before i got a little more irrational and begin spiralling down further into the bottomless pit of darkness, you came in just at the right moment to light up the darkness. once again, you've done what you're always good at - making my day. its things you've said multiple times, but i guess i really needed just that bit of positivity. you've never failed me.

i wonder how life would have been different if we never met, if we've never spoken. maybe someone else would still have taught me to look within, to see that i always had that side of me. but you did it well, really really well and i'm always thankful for that. maybe someday, if fate allows, we'll met again. and when we meet again, may the timing be just right for me to tell you just how grateful i am to have known someone like you, just how much you've done for me to learn to love myself better, to discover this other side of myself that built my self-confidence. we were never on the same wavelength/frequency/amplitude, but things worked out just fine between us, maintaining a relationship this way. it was a gift.