I wasn't expecting things to turn out this way. I didn't know that my behaviour, all these while, would result in such an outcome. I was controlling, I was pretending. It turns out that too much of all of that could bring harm. I tried, tried so hard to prevent myself from taking you for granted. It turns out that it came out all wrong.

I went on to look at the responses, I heard from people. Ah.. so that's how things were suppose to be done. Evidently, I didn't know. Evidently, I was behaving the wrong way all these while, giving you all the false signals. I wondered how you held on. It must have been extremely tiring but you never gave up. I'm wondering why. And now, I guess you are beginning to doubt yourself. Why are you holding on and trying so hard when all I've ever done was to hurt you? Now I see, you're trying to let loose and let go. You're testing to see maybe, just maybe you'll be okay without me. I don't want you to let go. Yet, I don't know how to hold you back. I have no say in this. You have your insecurities and so do I. But we are not communicating them. Why? Because we can't. We don't have a reason to do so.

So please, help me this once to get through this. I know where my problem lies, and I want to change, to change for the better. I'll still be jealous and I'll be in a bad mood when I see you with her. I used to think that was my problem. But I've came to realise it is only a normal response. It is okay and perfectly normal to be jealous. In fact, I should. If there's no jealousy felt at all, that is when I should let go. Now is not the time.