and so i've thought through it carefully and clearly. as much as i dislike you. i guess it's a confusing love-hate relationship.

as much as i hate you for making me feel so frustrated and making me change my plans (esp my tuition and having to travel all the way to tamp/bishan on a sun) and of course also having friends to shun from you, this taught me much. so much about staying positive and believing in the people that signed up and stayed on (willingly or not). at least i have them, at least i am not alone right? for these people, i have no idea to express how thankful i am towards them, for their existence. these events also showed who were the true friends, those who desperately wanted to study for their CTs, but came because we're friends :) i've came to realise how much of a true friend you are to. 他认识的朋友，真的很‘朋友'. and i mean no sarcasm here. really.

more importantly, it showed your true colours. 我看清楚了。i've came to realise how different you are from who i am looking for. i came to realise that you're still holding on to something. i've came to realise that i'm a back-up plan. thank you :)

this saturday marks the last of the final nonsense im facing. sometimes, somethings are not as simple as it seems. its not as simple as moving tables and chairs, its not as simple as carrying out your job. it's about the experience. and this is the 'experince' everyone's been talking about. what i've seen, what i've interpreted and what i've learnt and gained. my perspectives of people changed. i know who are my true friends. i know whom i can rely on. i know who i can trust.

well, most importantly, it developed my sense of responsibility. on many occasions, i wished i could text you the day before lying to you that i fell sick and am unable to make it tmr. but i never did because i know you'll be terribly stressed. i know i would dislike it too if someone did the same to me. it'll be a mental breakdown. 这一切教会了我学会谅解，学会体验。put yourself in other's shoes, they always say. this experience taught me the importance of it.

因为体谅，所以谅解。 :)

despite all that i've learnt, if given a choice to take up this role again, i wont go 'yes' immediately. definitely not. but i'll consider. i will.