sigh this emptiness

It's really bugging me the way i thought it wouldn't. I could finally talk about it to someone yesterday and i thought i'll be fine or at least better after that. I woke up again this morning, feeling the same. the same emptiness that needs to be filled. maybe by you. i don't know if i should tell you. but i don't want to give a false impression. i shouldn't. maybe they were right, i shouldn't be selfish. we're maybe better off this way. i have to admit that on somedays i really wish to see your name appear again. well it'll probably take a really long time, or maybe never.

辛苦。真的。no amount of sleep or rest can overcome it. 没想到，原来这一切会有这么大的影响。and sometimes i wonder if you're going through it also. or is it just me? maybe you're long over it. somehow i need to find a way to get out of this mess. it's affecting me way to much

Is it my fault that everything turned out this way? Was I too direct? was there a better method that i could have used to convey my intentions? Sigh. why, another friend lost. You would make a very good friend. really. 在外国的时候，我们都很谈得来。we got closer, we did. i thought things was getting really well and everything would continue to go this way. until that day. seems like we stopped communicating after that. i'm sorry, i guess i was too direct. the talk with them made me realise that i shouldn't have dragged it on. I should have told you the truth in black and white typed and clear. 可是，难道，就不能只是朋友吗？because yes, i'm selfish, i'll want a friend like you. 失去你这个朋友，真的很可惜。maybe all you need is just time. hopefully that's the case. may we go back to how it was like then. we could joke about everything and anything. may it be like that. 真的很怀念当时的我们。

but well, as much as i'm afraid that i've hurt you with my direct words, maybe you're recovering fast. the talk with them made me realise no maybe confirmed your character and my assumptions. they turned out to be the truth. well i trust them. maybe you're already getting on with your life like how it was like. or maybe you're not even affected by it in the first place. maybe its just me who has yet to get on with life and am still being bugged by it constantly. 你让我习惯了那种生活，and suddenly you left. maybe we all understand what needs to be done now. 一刀两断。

可是，有必要吗？